I find it interesting that my life has truly been the same cycle for the past ten years. That cycle has been answering the call of God and then feeling that I cant live up to the task at hand and then going into the world and  painfully missing God.  So for the past year I have been in the world drinking, smoking  ( cigs and weed). Yes, I admit that I went pretty far to the left. What makes it so bad is that everything was in excess. I have stories that may not seem all that big of a deal to those who enjoy the drunken nights when you cant remember how you got home and the foggy memories of being so high you couldn't remember how you got to your sixth blunt. Yeah it was pretty bad for a minute. There was a point when I smoked like everyday for two weeks, and i wasn't smokin some okie doke weed, i was smoking the good sh*t. Newayz thats not of importance anymore. I just cat believe that I allowed my life to spiral out of control. I truly thank God for calling me just one more time, and this time its different. Its not up to me to make myself right, He will do it for me. I am truly a child of God and my life doesn't make sense if I dont feel that I am constantly emersed in the goodness of the most high. God truly has brought me to my knees and my heart is overjoyed by him releasing  me from myself. So thats my testimony. Maybe im not pregnant and have AIDS, or went to jail for all the stupid sh*t that I did but trust and believe on the inside I was in a war zone, almost to the point were  it was border line self destruction. So all praises to the most high.

***Be good, Be right, and remember that in life do all things decent and in order***

 Life is ridiculously funny...another day..another dollar made..and people..including myself cant see the forest for the trees.

We will  knowingly deal and engage people who have no good intentions toward us..and have the nerve to get mad when they rack us royaly over the coals..lol...ehhh..guess thats life

still loving myself....and im out